10 ways to skin a ranting blogger Part 02

I heard from my great aunt that if u rant too much...the bad energy generated will stay in your system for a long time..and will eventually cause premature ageing in babies. Anyway...the next 5 choices for ridding bad karma:
6. Spitting is not a phenomena in UAE..so get over it. Whether u are from high or low society....everybody spit...stop ranting as if those foreign labourers have committed a sacrilege. The council strongly recommends u spend the next 10 days chewing betal nuts in your little cubicle...and u are allowed to spit into your palstic bin and nowhere else..alternatively u may swallow the bloody red juice in your mouth.
7. You are always complaining of bad services by pinoy salespeople in the retail industry. Perhaps u are a demanding customer...OR u probably know the finest art of good service. In that case, u shall be attached to Carrefour/payment counter at Bur Dubai for one full day..specifically end of month payday...workers from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh..etc will love to shake your hands and drown u with their requests for more plastic bags.
8.Any announcement of a new mega mall coming up in Dubai causes your head to spin..u hate development...u will rant and mock as if it's going to make any difference.Since you belong to the earth..that's where we are sending u..THE DESERT SAFARI!..and u will be stranded for 24 hrs because your 4 wheels drive got stuck in the dunes.
9. You cannot take the smell anymore.. stinking odour of people around u..u threatened to pack up.. go home to your perfumed country. Well, we think u have problem with your nose..we are sending u, all expenses paid..to Dubai Cosmetic $ Plastic surgery Centre..they are good for nose re-shaping as well.
10. The above(1-9) is only applicable to those who have ranted more than 128 times..otherwise u are safe for now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!